Here is a request for input from other parents.
What are your views on television?
The topic is becoming a battleground lately in our home. For a long time we had a no-TV-during-the-week rule, which has grown relaxed of late around others who like TV during the week. (And I must confess, the girls and I would often watch the Daily Show together even before then.) My 12-year-old has a seemingly insatiable apatite for all Disney Channel programming. Even as she is saying she realizes how inane it is, she is drawn to it like a moth to flame.
Some advocate letting her regulate her own TV as long as her chores and homework have been done. I resist this, not wanting her brain filled with the crap I know she will watch.
Disney and other shows seem to me to promote a wise- assed tween world where all adults are idiots, kids walk through life leaving a trail of soda cans that the maid picks up, and the prevailing attitude among kids is cliquey, know-it-all, preternaturally adult, snooty and condescending. When my kids spend hours sitting and consuming that carefully branded and marketed lifestyle, yeah, it rubs off. Don't tell me Disney and Diet Coke don't spend millions on the country's top child psychologists t figure out exactly how to motivate and sell to these kids, I told my husband. There are only 24 hours in every day, and I don't want to spend my time and my kids' s childhood fighting this.
I've always advocated watching TV with my kids. Early on we started talking about commercials, asking, What are they trying to sell us? I've always kept an eye on what they see (although lately they are trying to watch South Park with their cousins...not sure I am ready for that.) But now it just seems like trying to find the right balance of freedom and rules is like grasping a slippery pig.
I know every generation says this, but here it is for us: I remember going out and roaming the neighborhood for hours or days without adult supervision or knowledge. Now we live on a busy state road, and even if we didn't I'd hesitate to let my kids out entirely untended for that much time. More time outside would certainly be good for everyone. But it's not the panacea.
I also know I can't control their every wish or action. What I want is to teach them the habits and controls that will give them persistence and creativity. I am pretty sure that four hours a day of the Disney channel are not the way to go.
Has anyone else struggled with this?
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4 comments:
It's simple for us, we don't watch any television. There are so many studies, both scientific and anecdotal that show TV watching is not a good thing, especially the younger the child is. Not only don't we watch TV, but no movies either for the younger children. It is only now that my daughter is almost 12 that she watched her first movie about a month or two ago, and has seen only a couple since.
The "no media" thing goes along with the school we go to, Waldorf, which advocates no media, so it's a natural thing to do for us.
My kids never say that they're bored, and often wonder where they'd find the time to watch TV since they're always up to something whether it be reading, art, music, or myriad other things.
Perhaps a complete media embargo would be too much for you, but maybe it's worth a try for a little while?
I'd love to ban the box. But my kids are 11 and 12 and I'm afraid that horse has left the barn. I do try to arrange long tv-free stretches and vacations, and to be thoughtful about what we do watch. There are good things. But there's also an avalanche of crap.
I was one of the first kids to watch Sesame Street, and while I love it still and shared it with my daughters, one criticism seemed valid: that is encourages kids to think in quickly-edited slices, not encouraging sustained thought or attention.
We are trying a maximum of one hour a night when ALL homework and chores are done. And done well.
Liz -- what a delight to find your blog!
My kids are older, so let me share my experience. My son's godfather made us promise not to ban television because he had not been allowed to watch television and always felt alientated from peers since he didn't know what they were talking about. What you do -- watching with them and talking, trying to limit it, and finding other activities -- is the way we handled it. My son's a freshman in college and lives in an apartment/commune with no TV. He pretty much stopped watching TV during high school, except for The Simpsons. My daughter, who's 16, decided as a new year's resolution to cut back on the amount of TV she watches. I've tried to emphasize that you should watch mindfully -- turn on the TV because there's something you want to see, not just to fill empty space.
I'm delighted to read your blog and profile. We should get together for lunch some time.
Nancy Thompson
I believe that aside from regulating content that you don't want very young children to experience kids should regulate their own TV. They will have to deal with it someday anyway. It is a problem sometimes for you as a parent, you should have the authority to shut the TV off when necessary, but helps the child to regulate for themself. TV is educational as well as full of crap..my son has gravitated towards the history channel. Sometime TV does have a useful place as a companion, when you just need the sound of human voices in the room to make you less lonely. If only cable didn't cost so much and had a much better selection of content. Just found your blog and like it a lot.
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